If only I dared
by Absol Master
Summary: Sain and Florina love each other, but they don't dare to say so. Instead, they both confide in Lucius, thinking him trustworthy. When Lucius hears their woes, he wishes to tell both of them, but can't. So he must leave it to them to solve it themselves.


Yeah, this was done under the criteria of my fanfic challenge: a HectorFlorina or SainFlorina with Lucius as a main character. I chose SainFlorina because I prefer Sain.

This was badly-done, and I require your constructive criticism. Trust me, I _will _be editing this.

The romance isn't too well done in this fic; it must be because I'm not overenthusiastic about any Florina pairings, though they all make decent stories. Enjoy it anyway, and if you're interested in taking part in my fanfic challenge, check the top of my profile. Thanks.

* * *

… If only I dared …

Sain looked up at the sky as it burst into a flaming sea of scarlet. The sunset today was almost cloudless, the only few streaks of clouds lit, as if they were on fire.

Looking far down at the field before the army's camp, he saw the girl again. She smiled as she brushed the fur of her mount by her tent, a winged horse that she called a Pegasus. But her magnificent horse was nothing compared to her. Her skin was fair, her lavender hair flaming in the skylight, a string of beads decorating her forehead.

He liked to attract the attention of girls, as he did her. He liked to show off his strength to other young ladies, to impress them. But for her, it was different. For her, he didn't just want her to be impressed.

He wanted to hear her voice, hear her call out her praises to him. It was simply because she was always so silent around others, especially the men. Lyn had been the only person to have been able to make conversation with the girl. It was as if men gave her such great revulsion that she did not even wish to be in the company of them.

He wished this weren't so, for a girl as beautiful as her. He wished that she would take a second glance at him, even try to start a conversation with him.

_Florina. _Her name made him smile with fondness. For some reason, every time his eyes fell upon her face, he could never, never look away until she left.

Already, it had been more than a year since they had found Florina in a village on their way to Caelin, her Pegasus about to be killed by a group of villagers. Throughout the years he had known her, worked with her, he had seen how kind she was, seen the way she treated her Pegasus with such care. He had learnt how well-mannered and courteous she was, how hard she had tried over the one year to become a stronger person.

Now, he found himself watching that very same person, more confident and braver than she had been before. But still just as afraid of him, still as unwilling to speak to him, or even to come near.

It would be an endless chase, he knew. Trying to get Florina to return his feelings was something he knew was humanly impossible.

_I might as well give up._

But that didn't change the fact that he was in love with her. He wanted so badly, if not to tell her, to tell someone. He knew he would break if he didn't.

"Ah, Sir Sain!" Sain leapt in shock and turned to see who it was. A monk with blonde hair and robes of sky blue stood a distance away. The cavalier noticed that all the rest were gathered around a fire. "S-Sir Sain, would you like to have your dinner?"

Sain nodded absently. "Can you keep a secret?" he asked hopefully. He would not mind, he was sure. Lucius had always been the kindest of souls, and he could be trusted. He nodded quickly, somewhat puzzled. "I'm not sure I'm the person to consult, but—go ahead."

He took in a deep breath before going on. "I—I'm in love with someone…" he said, eyes shut. "With Florina."

Lucius didn't say anything. This made Sain feel uneasy. "I don't know what to do now…"

The monk nodded thoughtfully. "I—I don't really know what you should do either," he replied. "Maybe you should…wait for the time to be right, then tell her so. But…if need be, I'm always ready to hear your thoughts!" He said so with a smile, and Sain felt glad that he could entrust his secret with someone else.

—

As the army came to congregate around the fire, Florina saw Sain return to collect his dinner. He suddenly looked up and flashed her his usual smile. Florina felt her stomach suddenly tie itself up in knots, but managed to hide it, just barely.

Why was it that he made her feel that way? Sain had always scared her, with his ways of trying to come so close to her, and holding her shoulders and all. But deep down in her heart, she knew that she didn't really mind. She was always at peace, even glad, whenever he was around, always able to fight better when she felt his reassuring presence.

And sometimes, she actually dreamt of him, sitting behind him, as the two rode through the fields on the back of his horse, without anyone else nearby, without the need to worry about anything.

Was this love? Florina wasn't used to it. She longed to express what she felt to him, but she was afraid, almost as if it would kill her if he knew, and didn't feel the same way. What if he got angry with her for feeling so?

_He won't, he's such a nice person!_

Florina still didn't dare to, of course. She knew that she would never dare to speak to the cavalier alone, even less dare to tell him how she felt. But she couldn't live on without telling someone, just someone…

Florina looked about uneasily. Lucius had come to stand beside her at the fire. He would be understanding and listen to him, she was sure.

"L-Lucius?" she started, waiting for the monk to turn to her before going on. "I have a—a secret, and I really need to share it with someone."

"Go on," he replied with a kind smile. "Is anything the matter?"

"Y—yes," she answered nervously. Even despite the knowledge that Lucius would not go blabbering about her feelings to everyone in the army, she was hesitant. "I think I'm in love…It's Sain."

"Ah, I—see," he answered, seeming to be shocked. "I—I see. Alright, if ever you need it, I can listen to your thoughts." His look of surprise soon turned back into his former smile.

—

How was this possible, Lucius wondered as the aroma of food filled the air, and Florina went to scoop some food out of Lowen's soup pot. Sain loved Florina, and Florina loved Sain, but neither dared to tell the other. He wanted to tell both of them the truth, but he had made an unspoken promise to both that he would not tell anyone their secret, not even each other.

What will I do? I've never handled such a situation before…

—

The two continued to come to him, hoping for a listening ear, which he provided gladly.

"Ah…I can't stand it, I keep trying to get close to her in battle to keep her safe, but she just keeps inching away from me…" Sain's voice was filled with desperation.

"Brother Lucius…I wish I were braver!" Florina cried out softly. "I want Sain to be around with me when I am battling…but the sight of any man, even him, makes me want to run away! Help me…"

"Lucius!" Sain exclaimed to the monk by the riverside. "What do I do to impress her? She watches me, but every time I feel her eyes on me, I stumble, and make a fool of myself!"

Florina said with her eyes cast down later that evening, "I wish he would take notice of me…But I really don't want to do anything extravagant to…impress him…"

As Lucius listened to their pleas for help and understanding grow more and more desperate, he began to wonder what exactly to do. He would not go back on his promise. But at the same time, both wanted so badly to get the other to love him or her, and how happy it would make them if they both knew this…

In this situation, he did not know what to do. Hoping that all would be well, he knelt at the miniature altar in his tent and prayed for help.

—

The army was soon drawn into yet another battle, this time against troops led by Linus, an influential member of the Black Fang. The field was thick with fog-of-war, such that no one could see further than six feet.

"Lucius! Join Sain at the bridge!" Absol's powerful command echoed over the misty field to the monk. Searching the edges of his area of vision, he raced up to the bridge, legs carrying him as fast as his restrictive acolyte robes would allow. The cavalier flashed him a smile, glad for a companion.

Together, they finished a few enemies as they advanced through the thick fog. Through the dimness of the haze, a dark shape came darting out. A hero with heavily built arms stepped through, his gaze terrifying. Lucius stepped back, Sain standing his ground.

"Florina! Descend and kill the hero!"

In an instant, there was a white whirl of wings, and the sound of a lance shooting into the man's chest. He stepped back suddenly, dodging her subsequent blow, before dealing his own. The sword went through the rider's arm, throwing her off her mount.

"Florina! No, Florina!" Lucius watched as Sain leapt off his horse to carry her in his arms, eyes alight with worry.

Behind them, Absol's voice was full of panic. "Lucius! Heal her! Heal her before she loses too much blood! Sain, get back on your horse!" Her half-screams were laced with terror.

Lucius lifted his staff and focused his energy on Florina, but Sain did not bother to remount. He lifted his lance, too angry even to care that he wasn't used to fighting on foot.

One thrust of his lance found the Hero's shield. The next went through to his right leg. Florina stirred shakily on the ground as her wounds closed and blood dried up. Upon seeing Sain, she gasped in shock, fearing for his safety, and struggled to stand up.

"Don't worry, Florina," Lucius reassured her, keeping her still. "He'll do just fine. You need to rest."

She nodded, when the hero suddenly managed to land a blow into Sain's armoured chest. Her staggered back, coughing once, before standing high again, only to be knocked back by another lance blow that made a dent in his armour.

"Raven, southeast!" Absol was too busy with another part of the battlefield to give them commands. But their situation was dire. Sain would never survive this.

Then another hero came forth, making their situation worse. The axe he wielded stood menacingly close to Lucius.

Without warning, the blade came hurtling towards his head. Giving a yelp of astonishment, he ducked, and it struck him at his shoulder.

"Lucius!" In the whirl of pain, he suddenly saw the flash of metal, and the point of a lance impaling his neck. Another seemed to come out of the sky, puncturing his armour and breaking straight through his chest.

Lucius glanced up in terror, and saw his companions and saviours, matching each other blow for blow as they fought down the sword-holding hero. When he went the other way, the other would catch him. Their lances soared through the mist, deathly weapons that soon brought death to their attacker.

The monk had seen two more shadows emerge from the swirls of fog. "Turn!" he called. The two whipped around, the knowledge of each other's company seeming to give them formerly-unseen strength. It was an unspoken bond that now stretched between the two as they fought to keep each other safe.

And they finished their opponents before Lucius could even stand, delivering a few fatal blows that proved lethal against the attackers. With that, there was a triumphant call from far behind. It's over, it's over, gather now…

"Florina!" Sain exclaimed with a wide grin. Florina looked up nervously at him. "Thanks, you were amazing—"

"You were too," she suddenly managed to reply, with a smile, so much unlike the old, stammering self she had been moments ago. "Thanks for it…"

"For what?" the cavalier replied, placing a tentative hand on her arm. "You're alive, that's all the thanks I need."

Lucius wanted to tell them both what he had heard. But he was saved the trouble. "Lucius, you didn't tell—" they both said at the same time, turning to him. Lucius shook his head.

"S-Sain? What does Lucius mean…" her voice was suddenly cut off as Sain took her in an embrace. Florina looked up in shock, and suddenly, she returned it without a word. They were holding each other so tightly that it seemed one would never let go of the other.

"I…Florina! I love you, but I—I didn't dare to tell you so…"

Florina's voice sounded shaky, but not with fear; it sounded as if she were about to cry with overwhelming joy. "Me too," she replied. "I was too afraid. I should learn to face all my fears, really…"

Lucius stood there, unsure of whether he should be watching, but glad that he didn't have to hold the burden of both their secrets all the same. All along, they had loved each other and never known, too afraid to admit it to each other. If only they had known…

But there was no need to worry about that anymore. "Come on now," he said softly, not wanting to interrupt. "We should—head back."

They did, Pegasus and horse following behind. But everything had changed during this battle. They wouldn't have to grieve for their hidden longing anymore, no longer.


End file.
